So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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