Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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