The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
