i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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