I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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