You can't special order awesome
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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