Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
