I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
