Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
