the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
