Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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