remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
