It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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