I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
