let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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