I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
