i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
