yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
