Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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