woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
