so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
