YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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