His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We just shotgunned beers for America
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just blew my weed a kiss
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
