Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
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