dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
