he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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