That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
