P.S. I can't hear my feet
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
