I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
