OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
