i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
