There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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