Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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