not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
