Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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