I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
