Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
