Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
