drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
