My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
