Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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