i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
