We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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