He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize