He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
