Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
