Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
