only if we run a train.
done.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
