hotel room ftw
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
