Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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