she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
