Whod you bang
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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