Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
