do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize