we have officially lost it.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
