and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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