Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
