I'm sorry my penis didn't work
from now on my penis is your penis
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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