Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
