I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
