wanna go halves on a baby?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
is it fun? or sober?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
