I wish I could teleport
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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