she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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