is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
