Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
The best revenge is premature balding
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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