I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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