Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
